My Conversion to Islam
Perhaps, one of the most favorite questions Muslims tend to ask a convert is "Why?How?". It can get pretty annoying to tell your tale, because most of the time the journey to any particular religion often involves a story that is longer than one minute. As any convert knows, most people asking this question aren't particularly interested in the why or how, but just want to feel good about themselves. Often, they follow your story with proclaiming how much better you are than them or they go on to tell you how to practice your "new" religion. Which then leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth.
My story is always evolving as I discover more and more Islamic influences I have had since I was young. I've always been aware of God from a young age. I would blame being raised in South Carolina and Indiana for the Christian influences but none of my family members ever went to church or talked about God/Jesus. My mom dropped me off at a Methodist daycare where I played biblical games and learned hymns. My parents only took me here due to the cheap factor, but I remember my mom did try taking me to one day camp. I asked my mom, "Where did the Devil come from?" around the age of four. I wasn't particularly happy about the fact God would create something particularly evil just for the sake. She proceeded to tell me the story of how Lucifer was God's favorite angel and he came down to Earth with some followers. With his people he began to have sons with the human women, creating monsters. He refused to be lesser than man, nor did he want to be equal. I thought of this story often, which turned out to be the book of Enoch version, throughout my youth.
I experienced church at school through church programs with the public school. My father often wanted to deny me this. Not because it was church but because he firmly believed religion should not be taught it schools. He stated if he wanted me to learn about Jesus in school then he would send me to a Catholic school. Now much older, I personally agree religion should be a foundation by the parents and the religious community the kid grows around. Religion and state should always be separate when possible. Since I didn't go to church at all these education opportunities at school where the only way I got to learn about God. The first time I had my dad approve, it was really so I didn't have to sit in a classroom by myself.
My middle school days with Christianity in the Midwest were like any other kid. We all got really into Jesus; churches started to cater to teens and preteens. Giving us rock bands, cool shirts, paintballing for Jesus, and etc...really going to church was fun. I just never liked any of it. I was in it because my friends were in it and I wanted to learn about God. Here I was, sitting there trying to learn, while my friends were to busy trying to get the attention of the cute Highschooler. I wanted to learn, I wanted be respectful and remain quiet. Eventually, I stopped showing up. The teacher was deemed to dumb, after she told me she didn't believe in evolution. Which is funny because at the time I barely knew any scientific background of evolution but I knew it was correct. It also irritated me she would believe that God was incapable of creating complexity. Still can't understand why people would bash science, when it only further explains God.
The only verse of the Bible I ever remembered was Proverbs 1:7 ; "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." I remembered this verse at age ten after reading it to my cat. How wonderful is this verse? Perhaps I always mistook the meaning but for me it told me to learn. I never hate Christianity, I just never understand it or felt fulfilled. The constant singing bothered me and wasn't my idea of worship. Nor was the preaching on the exact same stories of the Bible. I couldn't stand the hate speech towards LGTBQ or slander towards Islam. Neither could I understand the hate towards Wicca or the occult. Of course the Bible states no witch craft, but I knew even at 12 that New Age Religions or Paganism wasn't evil or "witchcraft" in the Biblical sense. Around this time I learned of Colonism, slavery, and the forced conversion of Natives/others. I would often wonder why missionaries were still going into Africa or the Caribbean when I was a kid..."Didn't you guys already force them to be Christians?" There was no bitterness towards Christian organizations who actually went to poorer parts to give charity but it was how and still is being spread that bothers me. I do not believe any religion should be forced upon anyone. All peoples should have access to food/healthcare/education without having to give up their culture.
I was taught even touching another Holy Book could mean going to Hell. That reading books on Wicca or the occult could invite devils in. That didn't prevent me from buying books on Fey, Vampire or Folklore nor one book on Wicca. But I didn't consider Wicca at 12 to be a real religion, which I promise I've changed my ways and some of my best friends are Wiccan.
My brother was the first one to read the Quran and I couldn't fathom why he would read it. Wasn't it evil? Wasn't I told Islam was the religion of the Devil? That Muslims worshipped Mohammad (PBH)? Never mind the men who beat their women and constantly raped them. Even touching the Quran could send me to Hell. Its funny, though, I was told these things through passing or through preaching's either on tv or in person. Its amazing how much negativity a child can absorb at a young age and create irrational fears based on influence.
In University I was introduced to Muslims but never actually connected them to Islam. Our conversations never led to religion nor did they ever bring up religion. It was through a history class on the Middle East, that I finally learned about Islam. This history class covered Christian groups that were outside the European influence, Judaism, and of course Islamic groups. I was hooked, this man named Muhammad (PBH) seemed like any other man to me. I know some Muslim are probably spitting at the ground at my words but I needed a prophet who wasn't washed over by myths or legends. This was a man who led battles because he had to and stopped when he needed too. A man who had equally as powerful women surrounding him. I was really in awe at this interesting person who founded Islam. It took, however, a class on South Asian politics to get me to read the Quran and finally decide to convert. In the meantime I began to buy books on Islamic feminism, biographies, and some books with the main character being a Muslim woman. Even the book "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, was/is greatly disliked by me (I'll give my reason why), didn't persuade me to hate Islam.
It was through History classes and through Islamic Feminism that made me to decide to finally read the Quran. So I hopped online and bought my English/ Arabic translation. I should mention I also took an Arabic class as well, even in High School I started my own Pinterest board of Hijabi fashion. It seems my path to Islam was one in which I would of probably ended up in. The first reading of the Quran was profound, no nothing lite up the room nor did I read the Quran in one sitting. It felt alright, by reading the Quran I realized my own personal beliefs and actions were already reflected in this book. I understood the biblical stories written it, I understood the message it was portraying. It was (and is) completely different than the Bible but yet the same, it read with such profound quotes at each and every step. I would be lying not admit that it did bore me at times.
After reading the Quran and deciding yes this is good, the next step was to learn how to pray. The first time I bent down in prostration and my forehead touched the ground, it was as if my soul was fulfilled. This ritual of bowing and prostration was something I finally understood, prostration was written in the bible and fairytales but I never understood before why anyone would ever prostrate before. It was after practicing prayer that I officially decided to convert.
My story is always evolving as I discover more and more Islamic influences I have had since I was young. I've always been aware of God from a young age. I would blame being raised in South Carolina and Indiana for the Christian influences but none of my family members ever went to church or talked about God/Jesus. My mom dropped me off at a Methodist daycare where I played biblical games and learned hymns. My parents only took me here due to the cheap factor, but I remember my mom did try taking me to one day camp. I asked my mom, "Where did the Devil come from?" around the age of four. I wasn't particularly happy about the fact God would create something particularly evil just for the sake. She proceeded to tell me the story of how Lucifer was God's favorite angel and he came down to Earth with some followers. With his people he began to have sons with the human women, creating monsters. He refused to be lesser than man, nor did he want to be equal. I thought of this story often, which turned out to be the book of Enoch version, throughout my youth.I experienced church at school through church programs with the public school. My father often wanted to deny me this. Not because it was church but because he firmly believed religion should not be taught it schools. He stated if he wanted me to learn about Jesus in school then he would send me to a Catholic school. Now much older, I personally agree religion should be a foundation by the parents and the religious community the kid grows around. Religion and state should always be separate when possible. Since I didn't go to church at all these education opportunities at school where the only way I got to learn about God. The first time I had my dad approve, it was really so I didn't have to sit in a classroom by myself.
My middle school days with Christianity in the Midwest were like any other kid. We all got really into Jesus; churches started to cater to teens and preteens. Giving us rock bands, cool shirts, paintballing for Jesus, and etc...really going to church was fun. I just never liked any of it. I was in it because my friends were in it and I wanted to learn about God. Here I was, sitting there trying to learn, while my friends were to busy trying to get the attention of the cute Highschooler. I wanted to learn, I wanted be respectful and remain quiet. Eventually, I stopped showing up. The teacher was deemed to dumb, after she told me she didn't believe in evolution. Which is funny because at the time I barely knew any scientific background of evolution but I knew it was correct. It also irritated me she would believe that God was incapable of creating complexity. Still can't understand why people would bash science, when it only further explains God.
The only verse of the Bible I ever remembered was Proverbs 1:7 ; "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." I remembered this verse at age ten after reading it to my cat. How wonderful is this verse? Perhaps I always mistook the meaning but for me it told me to learn. I never hate Christianity, I just never understand it or felt fulfilled. The constant singing bothered me and wasn't my idea of worship. Nor was the preaching on the exact same stories of the Bible. I couldn't stand the hate speech towards LGTBQ or slander towards Islam. Neither could I understand the hate towards Wicca or the occult. Of course the Bible states no witch craft, but I knew even at 12 that New Age Religions or Paganism wasn't evil or "witchcraft" in the Biblical sense. Around this time I learned of Colonism, slavery, and the forced conversion of Natives/others. I would often wonder why missionaries were still going into Africa or the Caribbean when I was a kid..."Didn't you guys already force them to be Christians?" There was no bitterness towards Christian organizations who actually went to poorer parts to give charity but it was how and still is being spread that bothers me. I do not believe any religion should be forced upon anyone. All peoples should have access to food/healthcare/education without having to give up their culture.
I was taught even touching another Holy Book could mean going to Hell. That reading books on Wicca or the occult could invite devils in. That didn't prevent me from buying books on Fey, Vampire or Folklore nor one book on Wicca. But I didn't consider Wicca at 12 to be a real religion, which I promise I've changed my ways and some of my best friends are Wiccan.
My brother was the first one to read the Quran and I couldn't fathom why he would read it. Wasn't it evil? Wasn't I told Islam was the religion of the Devil? That Muslims worshipped Mohammad (PBH)? Never mind the men who beat their women and constantly raped them. Even touching the Quran could send me to Hell. Its funny, though, I was told these things through passing or through preaching's either on tv or in person. Its amazing how much negativity a child can absorb at a young age and create irrational fears based on influence.
In University I was introduced to Muslims but never actually connected them to Islam. Our conversations never led to religion nor did they ever bring up religion. It was through a history class on the Middle East, that I finally learned about Islam. This history class covered Christian groups that were outside the European influence, Judaism, and of course Islamic groups. I was hooked, this man named Muhammad (PBH) seemed like any other man to me. I know some Muslim are probably spitting at the ground at my words but I needed a prophet who wasn't washed over by myths or legends. This was a man who led battles because he had to and stopped when he needed too. A man who had equally as powerful women surrounding him. I was really in awe at this interesting person who founded Islam. It took, however, a class on South Asian politics to get me to read the Quran and finally decide to convert. In the meantime I began to buy books on Islamic feminism, biographies, and some books with the main character being a Muslim woman. Even the book "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, was/is greatly disliked by me (I'll give my reason why), didn't persuade me to hate Islam.
It was through History classes and through Islamic Feminism that made me to decide to finally read the Quran. So I hopped online and bought my English/ Arabic translation. I should mention I also took an Arabic class as well, even in High School I started my own Pinterest board of Hijabi fashion. It seems my path to Islam was one in which I would of probably ended up in. The first reading of the Quran was profound, no nothing lite up the room nor did I read the Quran in one sitting. It felt alright, by reading the Quran I realized my own personal beliefs and actions were already reflected in this book. I understood the biblical stories written it, I understood the message it was portraying. It was (and is) completely different than the Bible but yet the same, it read with such profound quotes at each and every step. I would be lying not admit that it did bore me at times.
After reading the Quran and deciding yes this is good, the next step was to learn how to pray. The first time I bent down in prostration and my forehead touched the ground, it was as if my soul was fulfilled. This ritual of bowing and prostration was something I finally understood, prostration was written in the bible and fairytales but I never understood before why anyone would ever prostrate before. It was after practicing prayer that I officially decided to convert.
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